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Friday, December 13, 2013

it came ...

It came without ribbons! 
It came without tags! 
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. 
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
by Dr. Seuss

My lack of holiday enthusiasm has by no means been of the Grinch nature.
It has not been of the Luther Krank (Skipping Christmas) nature.
It simply has been a culmination of 'stress/pressure / getting older / things are gonna change' nature.
I know that this is in no small part related to the first Christmas without one of my cubs,
it was bound to happen.
But I think it has more to do with how every week flies by - literally and figuratively.
I remember weeks that seemed to be stuck on Tuesday - but we blinked and it was already a week after Thanksgiving, we blinked again and it was already a week since the office Christmas party,
and we'll blink and it'll be time to take all of this down before I head to California for the Rose Parade.
I just realized where my umph for Christmas went -
- it got lost along with the simpler times when we weren't pressing a kid to write college application essays, study for college admittance, 'be home before midnight', we gotta get this/that done before....
Gone are the days when I would hide presents - they are now sitting in their bags and boxes on the dining room table in full view.
Gone are the days when we hurried up with baths to watch "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer".
Gone are the days ...

Guess it is time to take a deep breath and enjoy what the present days have to offer.


  1. My children are 23 and 25 and I have a hard time still. Every time I decorate the tree I want to go back in time to when they were young. Such happy memories.

  2. Such memories. It's amazing how the little things change as times pass by. Hope the season is still filled with joy and excitement!

  3. I have a mix of little believers and now a teenager...and I'm having trouble too. There just seems to be so much to do and I can't wonder if society in general feels a longing for simpler times. But, I think a deep breath and some presence is great advice!!

  4. I really do understand where you are coming from. Somehow the holiday magic disappears and then what? You make new magic Nicki... I bet there is someone or something out there that could use a little magic in there in lives! xoxo my friend...hang in there ok? I'm here for you.

  5. ooohhhh nicki, it is, really, it is!! my nest is empty, my boys are 30 and 31, they have been out of the house for many years!! but i love my life, every single day i make the decision to remember why i had them, what i wanted for them. roots and wings and i have provided both!! they are amazing kids, both have homes, jobs, good friends and girlfriends. they have great lives and that was my goal in raising them. loving and letting can really love your life after they move out!!

  6. Dear Nicki,
    I too understand what you're going through, but as Debbie said so well you can really love your life and enjoying Christmas after they have moved out. Celebrating will be different but also has its charme. Our kids come over on Christmas day and there will be a lot of cooking together, we have our family Winter Walk and sing all day through. Try to make your own magic.

    Extra special hugs,

  7. Oh yes, so relate...each year Christmas seems to change a little bit more, this year neither of my kids will be home for Christmas and you know my sweetie won't be with me, but I think my two grandgirls will be with me, and that's enough right now. Yes, traditions change, not something we like, we want everything to stay the same, and I so remember the Rudolph show along with others and how special the holidays were....things change.

  8. Nicki: I so sympathize! I've been lucky in that to date I've been able to have my kids with me every Christmas, but my oldest is graduating tomorrow, actually, and he is planning to start on his Master's program next fall somewhere on the east coast. My youngest is planning to join the Army in May. They are moving away, and it's unsettling to know that there are major changes coming next year for our family. Let's hang in there together!

    1. Wow, Maria, things are truly going to change up for you and yours. Change is inevitable, and even hoped for - but it still requires a shift and with age, I'm just a tad slower about it. Next year will be the first year of college for my baby and the last year for my girl - it's all good and desirable, but certainly adjusts the tone around the house.

  9. Change is hard to take sometimes.. When my daughter moved out years ago it was hard. But it gets better with time. Now I get to face time with my grandson all the time. I LOVE it. Wishing you happiness my friend.

    PS.. I watch the Grinch that stole Christmas the other night all by myself and smiled through the whole move.

    1. Linda - I see no shame in watching old holiday movies alone (Home Alone - I watch by myself each year - not sure why, but I do).

  10. I have felt that my grandson brings that noise and fun back to the house on the holidays. But still, some nights when my husbands and I are here alone, I miss the noise of a family on the regular weekdays too. We have a new normal, and it is good, but maybe the holidays remind us of past good times. Thankfully, the message of Christmas is timeless, "for unto us is born a Savior, Christ the Lord!"